In our second session of our second year of learning to become spiritual companions, I sat with my friend-whom-I’ve-never-met-in-person-but-already-love-a-lot. As we practiced this thing called companioning, I shared about the suffering I am experiencing in my physical body. The aches, pains, fatigue. The long journey of healing. The confusion. The breakdowns. She listened thoughtfully, responded carefully. She sat with me in the unknowing, and offered insight.
Questions that came up before, during, and after -
What if this suffering is of the Spirit? What if, when I break it down and deconstruct and build it back up, I discover that all of the components of this experience were already infused with Spirit, with Wisdom, with Mystery?
What if there is no Answer to this? What if it is a journey, a calm quieting, a revealing?
How do I become a friend to this experience? How do I sit with my body and soul as we together make meaning of this? What if my body is asking me to abandon its stubborn reliance on my brain, to let the energy drip down into my muscles and tendons and joints and ligaments?
Who might I befriend, who might I understand? Who might I be more compassionate toward, as I live through and with this experience?
What if…. this experience never truly goes away? What if this is chronic, and not acute? What then will it mean for the way I move through the world - to be engaged in this body that has limitations?
What am I learning about the world as I navigate it with a more-than-invisible disability? How does this deepen my compassion? How does it deepen my connection? What hidden possibilities exist?