Gratitude gets a lot of press these days as a life-changing practice. Gratitude is studied and recommended and suggested by all types of practitioners. I love gratitude. It brings me back to the present (usually) and reminds me of what I have. Sometimes, though, I can’t quite get to gratitude. When I am in a sour mood or when the world feels darker than normal, moving to gratitude feels like shifting from first gear to fifth. My gears grind to a halt, my engine complains. When I can’t feel grateful as everyone tells me I should, I resent myself and end up more frustrated than I was before. I needed a way to change up the cycle of frustration-forced gratitude-frustration, so I’ve developed a few gratitude-adjacent practices that feel more attainable.
//appreciation
There is so many different ways to express appreciation. You might start with the flowers outside- appreciating their bloom. You might offer a simple acknowledgment to a friend, appreciating them for something they have done for you, or offering an observation of something you appreciate about their character. Perhaps your family or your neighbors have been present for a difficult time in your life. Sending a quick note or a text with a simple, straightforward appreciation will remind them, and you, of all that supports you and carries you through this life.
//satisfaction
We, infiltrated with toxic capitalism, are addicted to What Is Next. The to-do list is never finished, the commitments are always present, and the Next Thing is always on the horizon. What if we took a moment, or a year, or a month, or an evening, to sit with satisfaction? Perhaps you are craving your own acknowledgement, the draw to be with a job well done. Maybe you have used a big burst of creative energy to bring something into the world. Maybe you had a good day with your child or a pleasant dinner with friends. Maybe you have cooked a favorite meal and it turned out just the way you like it. There are so many moments we can sit with and so many experience we can abide with in deep satisfaction. We can turn the events of the day over in our minds; we can savor the flavor of a finely-tuned recipe. We can close our eyes and listen to the laughter of our favorite people. I think we need more extended moments of satisfaction…we need to feel in our bodies what it means to appreciate and live deeply with something we love.
//admiration
On grumpy days, I tend to externalize my Grump. My inward thoughts leak their way out into the real world and I start to criticize others. It’s not a habit I am proud of and one I’ve tried to reduce. One way I have found to challenge this default is to begin expressing admiration for others. As people pass on the street, I will offer my silent (or verbal) compliment. I love their shoes, or their dress, or their smile. I am impressed with their commitment to running. I would love to emulate that style. That family seems so happy to be together today. As I shift from criticism to admiration, I am spreading a sense of true appreciation for others in my world. This modifies my own worldview and makes me a more generous person.